In honour of
International Pixel-Stained TechnoPeasant Day, on which the mandate is "Give away professional quality work online," I would like to share my favourite DIY cold remedy.
As a rule, singers are horrified by colds. If you have a cold and meet a singer, it's polite to announce "I have a cold"
before you hug, kiss or shake hands with them. The singer will then proceed to treat you like a leper for the duration of your time together. This is completely normal. They don't hate you, just your cargo of bacteria and viruses.
On the other hand, if you become ill while at the house of a singer, you will receive excellent care. Singers have a medicine cabinet full of vitamin C, throat lozenges, decongestants, cough syrup and aspirin. They have weird herbal tea that tastes vile. They have all the alternative-homeopathic-organic hippie shit known to mankind. They worship the Great God Ricola. If you hold still for long enough, they'll have a saucepan of water simmering on the stove and be holding your towel-draped head in a deathgrip above it. If you know singers, you'll know that it's generally best to offer no resistance and let them do their thing. Besides, steam is good for your pores.
So here's the recipe:
Ingredients: ginger root, lemons, honey, water
Peel and chop up some ginger root. (Tonight I used about 2 tablespoons' worth.)
Put the chopped bits in about a pint of water in a saucepan.
Cover and boil for a while. (The longer you boil it, the stronger it gets).
Pour into a mug with a squeeze of lemon juice and a spoonful or two of honey. (You can, at this stage, add some whisky, brandy, bourbon or whatever else you've got in the house.)
Stir and drink slowly.
I've had several mugs of this tonight, and I feel a bit better. Hurrah.