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pallas_athenaTyping "why" into my browser's Google search window currently yields the following suggestions:
Obviously these are all questions that need answers, so once I finished clutching my head and going "What!?!?" I thought I would employ my superior knowledge and resolve these matters once and for all.
why do men have nipples
Because otherwise they would have an unacceptably expansive area between their throat and their navel with no piercings.
why are black people so loud
What, you-- I can't believe you just-- gahhh. Don't make me revoke your internet, fool. For future reference: Differences between individuals are greater than differences between groups. In other words, the "loud" sector of society consists of people of many different nationalities and ethnicities, all of whom are exiting the pub across the street from me at approximately 2AM.
why is the sky blue
It isn't. It's grey. The leaden grey of despair. Hey February! Sod off!
why can't i own a canadian
I'm going let actual Canadians answer this, of whom there are at least three.
why is my poop green
Because you ate something blue. Like the sky. ...Oh. That's why ... oh, dear. Now what?
why did i get married too
When you don't own a Canadian, you'll do anything to fill that void.
why do dogs eat poop
Dogs are philosophers. They know that food is just shit waiting to happen, and are trying to prove the converse to be true.
why are people posting colors on facebook
This happened months ago. Why are you even still Googling it? Do you care about random blather on Facebook that much? You do? OK, fine: That's what colour their poop is.
why do cats purr
Because they love you. Even though you're a racial-generalising, Canadian-craving, green-pooping, hastily-married male nipple fetishist, your cat still loves you. Either that, or the thought of your imminent death fills its tiny brain with satisfaction.
why did the chicken cross the road
Because it was Canadian, and it saw you coming.
If anyone has any further insights into these burning questions, then the world demands that you post them. Thank you.
why do men have nipples
why are black people so loud
why is the sky blue
why can't i own a canadian
why is my poop green
why did i get married too
why do dogs eat poop
why are people posting colors on facebook
why do cats purr
why did the chicken cross the road
Obviously these are all questions that need answers, so once I finished clutching my head and going "What!?!?" I thought I would employ my superior knowledge and resolve these matters once and for all.
why do men have nipples
Because otherwise they would have an unacceptably expansive area between their throat and their navel with no piercings.
why are black people so loud
What, you-- I can't believe you just-- gahhh. Don't make me revoke your internet, fool. For future reference: Differences between individuals are greater than differences between groups. In other words, the "loud" sector of society consists of people of many different nationalities and ethnicities, all of whom are exiting the pub across the street from me at approximately 2AM.
why is the sky blue
It isn't. It's grey. The leaden grey of despair. Hey February! Sod off!
why can't i own a canadian
I'm going let actual Canadians answer this, of whom there are at least three.
why is my poop green
Because you ate something blue. Like the sky. ...Oh. That's why ... oh, dear. Now what?
why did i get married too
When you don't own a Canadian, you'll do anything to fill that void.
why do dogs eat poop
Dogs are philosophers. They know that food is just shit waiting to happen, and are trying to prove the converse to be true.
why are people posting colors on facebook
This happened months ago. Why are you even still Googling it? Do you care about random blather on Facebook that much? You do? OK, fine: That's what colour their poop is.
why do cats purr
Because they love you. Even though you're a racial-generalising, Canadian-craving, green-pooping, hastily-married male nipple fetishist, your cat still loves you. Either that, or the thought of your imminent death fills its tiny brain with satisfaction.
why did the chicken cross the road
Because it was Canadian, and it saw you coming.
If anyone has any further insights into these burning questions, then the world demands that you post them. Thank you.
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no subject
on 2010-02-22 08:05 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2010-02-22 08:14 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2010-02-22 08:53 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2010-02-23 02:58 am (UTC)no subject
on 2010-02-22 11:01 pm (UTC)why am i always tired
why is the sea salty
why do we have christmas trees
If you know the answer to the first one, please let me know.
no subject
on 2010-02-24 12:04 am (UTC)no subject
on 2010-02-23 02:23 am (UTC)I'm trying to even fathom a semi-reasonable question to why someone would want to own a Canadian. It must be a Canadian ____ of some kind? Passport? House???
Of course, coming from the same unwashed consciousness that produced question #2... maybe they really do want to own us. And that's just -- gahhh.
I thank the powers that I have *you* to make the internet a worthwhile place, because this post is golden.
ETA: I put "Why" into my google and it produced the same list. With HUGE trepidation, I clicked on "why can't I own a Canadian". And this is what appeared:
http://www.humanistsofutah.org/2002/WhyCantIOwnACanadian_10-02.html
no subject
on 2010-02-24 12:00 am (UTC)no subject
on 2010-02-23 02:27 am (UTC)As for why it's not allowed... well, that's clear: we're too busy helping the chicken cross the road, making sure that your dog doesn't eat too much poop, and cleaning up after all those hasty marriage celebrations.
no subject
on 2010-02-23 11:58 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2010-02-23 04:18 am (UTC)