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Losers in duplicate
Sep. 25th, 2007 12:28 amDear Universe,
Please accept my thanks for your acknowledgement of my celibate status and prompt response. Received this evening between the hours of 2300 and 0030: Two (2) propositions from random guys on buses. Returning said guys unused for the following reasons:
Guy #1: Positive points: Fairly intelligent, sensitive and an actor with a small role in the upcoming Batman film.
Negatives: Inability to STFU, esp. on subject of himself. Also, had bad cold and kept sniffing wetly.
Method of escape: Repeated verbal refusals, decreasing rapidly in tact.
Guy #2: Positive points: Own teeth (gold). Gainful employment driving buses.
Negatives: "I respect you! Why you don't respect me? Give me you number!" not swiftest way to a woman's heart.
Method of escape: Got off bus.
I am fully aware that declining these two offers may result in my being relegated to the back of the Guy Queue and deprioritised for future available guys, as well as immediate loss of bitching privileges re: celibacy. Enclosed please find two (2) receipts for abovementioned unused guys. Urgently request speedy exchange for one (1) life of happy bachelorhood, which suddenly looks a lot better now.
Many thanks,
A. N. Ho
Please accept my thanks for your acknowledgement of my celibate status and prompt response. Received this evening between the hours of 2300 and 0030: Two (2) propositions from random guys on buses. Returning said guys unused for the following reasons:
Guy #1: Positive points: Fairly intelligent, sensitive and an actor with a small role in the upcoming Batman film.
Negatives: Inability to STFU, esp. on subject of himself. Also, had bad cold and kept sniffing wetly.
Method of escape: Repeated verbal refusals, decreasing rapidly in tact.
Guy #2: Positive points: Own teeth (gold). Gainful employment driving buses.
Negatives: "I respect you! Why you don't respect me? Give me you number!" not swiftest way to a woman's heart.
Method of escape: Got off bus.
I am fully aware that declining these two offers may result in my being relegated to the back of the Guy Queue and deprioritised for future available guys, as well as immediate loss of bitching privileges re: celibacy. Enclosed please find two (2) receipts for abovementioned unused guys. Urgently request speedy exchange for one (1) life of happy bachelorhood, which suddenly looks a lot better now.
Many thanks,
A. N. Ho