As Dorothy Parker once said...

[pallas_athena]

I'm stuck at home with Disgusting Flu, so to pass the time, I declare this DOROTHY PARKER WEEK.

This is something I've been wanting to do for some time. Parker is not only a fine wit but a fantastic poet, and her work deserves to be better known-- especially the stuff that doesn't end with a punchline (though a Parker punchline still packs more punch than most.)

I've posted poems of hers here before:
Braggart, which is the most fuck-off-world poem I know; and
The Satin Dress, a fine poem about sewing.

But how would Parker introduce herself? Like this, I think:

Fighting Words

Say my love is easy had,
Say I'm bitten raw with pride,
Say I am too often sad--
Still behold me at your side.

Say I'm neither brave nor young,
Say I woo and coddle care,
Say the devil touched my tongue--
Still you have my heart to wear.

But say my verses do not scan,
And I get me another man!

Comments

[artnouveauho.livejournal.com]

You give yourself too little cred:
It's as witty as any I've read!
(And you're not to blame
If I incur the shame
Of replying with "That's what he said.")

[megamole.livejournal.com]

This all has come out in a rush;
Your compliments, ma'am, make me blush.
I'm curious to meet
This soprano aesthete
(If my car can drive over the slush).

[artnouveauho.livejournal.com]

With minds like myself and like you,
A meeting is sure to ensue.
So hurry and plan
That reading, young man,
Of Shakespeare's King Richard the II.

[megamole.livejournal.com]

I have several Shakespearophile mates,
Who read through his plays by the crates;
So my sessions pertain
To a more comic vein
For the sort of shows everyone (hopefully) rates¹.

1: Blackadder, Red Dwarf, Allo Allo, assorted Python, some of my own work...